Is Space Giraffe the best game ever?

Yes.

Well in a way yes -but generally whatever game I'm playing is the best game ever for it's duration - so it's probably not a very reliable declaration. I'm playing Apollo Justice on the DS and that's the best game ever too - so, pinch of salt, but the point of this is - 'raffe has been horribly under-rated.

Not least by me. Mr Judy downloaded SG on release. Wow! I said, it looks great. Crazy! Mad! British comedy references! Ow eyes hurting now, stop playing. What do you mean I've got no achievements? Give up.

Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago. We're in the middle of one of the longest droughts in gaming history. Every day I scan the shelves for something new to play.
"Can I help?" says the teenage assistant
"I don't know - I'm looking for something good, something overlooked - something that is amazing and yet has somehow got past everyone I know and all the reviewers on the internets, something impossible, yet incredible.. do you have anything like that?"
"Um...TNA Impact?"
Even my inbetweeners are starting to pall. Edge is full of fascinating, complex, incredible games promised for the coming months that are still *weeks* away from release. And, tucked away in the "what we're playing now" section, Space Giraffe rates a mention.

Hmm never did get on with that - maybe time for another go. At least try and get the sneezing achievement....and an obsession was born. Then over nights of swearing, internet scouring, many varied attempts to reach the zen-like state you need to play- the obsession was tempered and formed into evangelical fervour. Time to spread the word.

Why you were wrong about Space Giraffe.
A lot of people give up after the tutorial. Which is not aptly named. Jeff Minter, a genius with light and music, has a lot to learn about pedagogy. Key terms are not defined. Concepts are not explained. Examples are not given. Don't get me started on assessment for learning. If he worked for our institution, we'd be having words. You get a vague instruction. Then a bit later it says "well done you did that" You wonder what just happened. I discovered I'd been playing the game completely wrong after reading a FAQ on the internet.

Of course, you could argue that the "tutorial" is deliberately bad, just as the level design is deliberately eye-bleedingly confusing, which is the next hurdle for the contemporary gamer. We've been molly-coddled by namby-pamby games in which you can actually see what's going on. Stuff like the things trying to kill you. The things you're supposed to pick up. Most games make these things stand out. Not SG - you have to visually wrench such information from the chaos on the screen and it's often unfair. I've played zone games before, the feeling of your muscle memory overriding your conscious mind - 'raffe is the first game I've really felt you need the Force to play. And we're not talking some weedy blast shield, it's like injecting your eyeballs with LSD and trying to split a gnat with a stick of spaghetti. With guns.

But I forget, I'm trying to convince people to play it, not put you off...well let's see -

Colours!
Most games these days have about three colours (brown, grey and browney-grey), SG has megabezillions.

Online leaderboards!
A mere 10,000 people bought Space Giraffe. You're pretty much guaranteed top 1000 by being vaguely competent. (currently 72, thanks for asking. Oh you didn't. Well I'm just happening to mention it then. It's my blog.)

Weekly online leaderboards!
Out of 10,000 how many do you think played this week?

Jeff needs the money.
Llamas don't come cheap.

CONGRATULATIONS!
You have finished this blogpost, but our giraffe is in another castle!
You are bored